Professor of religion and philosophy, Stephen H. Webb, in his satirical essay, "How Soccer is ruining America: A Jeremiad", describes the belief that soccer is an immoral sport meant to destroy the very foundation of America. Webb's purpose is to ridicule the absurd idea that soccer is ruining america through his use irony and sarcasm. He adopts an accusatory and hyperbolic tone in order to appeal to the reader's sense of humor and create an atmosphere of bewilderment.
Webb begins his essay claiming that soccer is destroying American society and undermining the capabilities of children by lowering the standard of hard work. He appeals to the dismayed emotions of the audience by personifying soccer: "Soccer is running America into the ground, and there is very little anyone can do about it." This sentence is meant to be ironic because "soccer is running" while one also runs in soccer. Webb then proceeds to continue his argument by asserting that soccer is dumbing America, and not only that but it is also the most boring game to watch. The author appeals to the sense of amusement in his opening paragraphs in order to mock those who claim soccer is ruining America. The abundance of absurd and nonsensical claims in the introduction causes the readers to step back and wipe their eyes in a sense of amazement. In addition, it draws the audience to continue to read the essay in order to see what other possible arguments the author is capable of making.
The first argument made by Webb is that the use of feet in a sport is very wrong because feet are unholy and dehumanizing. He attempts to back his argument by using the fallacy known as appeal to tradition in which a situation is right simply because it has always been that way. He argues that God gave us our hands including our thumb in order to distinguish us from four-legged animals.This in turn means that feet should not be applied to any activity because they're a pure sign of disrespect and a need for redemption. By appealing to tradition, Webb says that humans have always been defined by their use of hands and that it ought to remain this way forever. In this moment, the audience becomes aware that the author's sole purpose is to defame the claims made by those who say that soccer is ruining America. This is due to the complete foolishness of the claim that humans were only designed to use their hands. If God gave us our hands, then he must have given us our feet..his complete lack of acknowledgement of feet disproves his argument in a way that is sarcastic and laughable.
The second argument made by Webb is that sports were created to break kids down before they begin to build them up. In other words, kids should be exposed to failure and the sacrifices of hard work before they can experience success. Webb supports his claim by using an anecdote in which he discusses the ways in which baseball broke him down: "When I was a kid, baseball was the most popular sport precisely because it was so demanding. Even its language was intimidating, with bases, bats, strikes, and outs." In this paragraph, Webb seeks to defend the claim that soccer begins to build kids up from the start before it breaks them down. In the following paragraph, the author discusses the fears he faced as a baseball player such as the fear of disfigurement or of striking out. Webb indirectly redefines soccer as a sport that poses no fear or greater challenge to the players. However, it is known by most that soccer is a sport that involves strategy, agility, and quick movements. It is unreasonable and therefore ridiculous to make such an argument.
The third argument is that soccer is a foreign invasion;according to Webb all things foreign are bad. By accrediting the creation of soccer to Europeans, Webb assumes that is a terrible sport simply because Europe is all about death and despair. This argument completely neglects the idea that soccer was adopted by Americans hence the name "soccer". Soccer in other parts of the world is known as football. This contradicts the idea of soccer as an invasion; rather soccer came and conquered the hearts of many Americans.
In the fourth argument, there is a shift in perspective from denouncing to appreciative. The author begins to display the true purpose of his essay in a more direct approach. He alleges that soccer is a sport made for girls because it requires brain skill rather than physical strength. That is to say girls lack aggressiveness and toughness which is clearly sexist in all ways possible. Further in the argument, Webb states that soccer mimics the feminine experience of childbirth more than the masculine business of destroying your opponent. This may or may not be considered sexist to men as they may feel that physical strength used by men requires more stamina than childbirth. Nevertheless, this argument is no longer a complete dispute against soccer.
In closing his essay, Webb seems to refute his previous argument while still maintaining an obnoxious tone. He addresses the idea that soccer is a foreign invasion, yet this time he refers to it as a self inflicted wound. Americans are to blame for their own embracement of soccer. In regards to soccer being an unholy or wrongful sport, Webb debates his former arguments by saying: "Baseball is too intimidating, football is too brutal, and basketball takes too much time to develop the required skills." This statement indirectly makes soccer out to be the perfect sport. In the next sentences, Webb says that soccer allows everyone in the family to play a role and that results in better parenting. Because soccer is a sport that drains energy, it is helpful to overworked parents who lack the energy to play with their children on their own time. In the last paragraph, Webb reveals that he is the parent of three soccer girls which works to build his ethos. Because the readers are now aware that Webb is a soccer dad who has knowledge of the game, it only supports the true purpose of this essay which is to deride claims that soccer is not a worthy sport. He essentially builds up the argument of his opponent with exaggerated claims and then proceeds to knock it all down. Webb's last sentence is the ultimate reveal of his true intention in this satirical essay: "Nonetheless, I must say that my kids and I come home from a soccer game a very happy family." To put it another way, you have just been led to believe the outrageous claim that soccer is ruining America.
Webb begins his essay claiming that soccer is destroying American society and undermining the capabilities of children by lowering the standard of hard work. He appeals to the dismayed emotions of the audience by personifying soccer: "Soccer is running America into the ground, and there is very little anyone can do about it." This sentence is meant to be ironic because "soccer is running" while one also runs in soccer. Webb then proceeds to continue his argument by asserting that soccer is dumbing America, and not only that but it is also the most boring game to watch. The author appeals to the sense of amusement in his opening paragraphs in order to mock those who claim soccer is ruining America. The abundance of absurd and nonsensical claims in the introduction causes the readers to step back and wipe their eyes in a sense of amazement. In addition, it draws the audience to continue to read the essay in order to see what other possible arguments the author is capable of making.
The first argument made by Webb is that the use of feet in a sport is very wrong because feet are unholy and dehumanizing. He attempts to back his argument by using the fallacy known as appeal to tradition in which a situation is right simply because it has always been that way. He argues that God gave us our hands including our thumb in order to distinguish us from four-legged animals.This in turn means that feet should not be applied to any activity because they're a pure sign of disrespect and a need for redemption. By appealing to tradition, Webb says that humans have always been defined by their use of hands and that it ought to remain this way forever. In this moment, the audience becomes aware that the author's sole purpose is to defame the claims made by those who say that soccer is ruining America. This is due to the complete foolishness of the claim that humans were only designed to use their hands. If God gave us our hands, then he must have given us our feet..his complete lack of acknowledgement of feet disproves his argument in a way that is sarcastic and laughable.
The second argument made by Webb is that sports were created to break kids down before they begin to build them up. In other words, kids should be exposed to failure and the sacrifices of hard work before they can experience success. Webb supports his claim by using an anecdote in which he discusses the ways in which baseball broke him down: "When I was a kid, baseball was the most popular sport precisely because it was so demanding. Even its language was intimidating, with bases, bats, strikes, and outs." In this paragraph, Webb seeks to defend the claim that soccer begins to build kids up from the start before it breaks them down. In the following paragraph, the author discusses the fears he faced as a baseball player such as the fear of disfigurement or of striking out. Webb indirectly redefines soccer as a sport that poses no fear or greater challenge to the players. However, it is known by most that soccer is a sport that involves strategy, agility, and quick movements. It is unreasonable and therefore ridiculous to make such an argument.
The third argument is that soccer is a foreign invasion;according to Webb all things foreign are bad. By accrediting the creation of soccer to Europeans, Webb assumes that is a terrible sport simply because Europe is all about death and despair. This argument completely neglects the idea that soccer was adopted by Americans hence the name "soccer". Soccer in other parts of the world is known as football. This contradicts the idea of soccer as an invasion; rather soccer came and conquered the hearts of many Americans.
In the fourth argument, there is a shift in perspective from denouncing to appreciative. The author begins to display the true purpose of his essay in a more direct approach. He alleges that soccer is a sport made for girls because it requires brain skill rather than physical strength. That is to say girls lack aggressiveness and toughness which is clearly sexist in all ways possible. Further in the argument, Webb states that soccer mimics the feminine experience of childbirth more than the masculine business of destroying your opponent. This may or may not be considered sexist to men as they may feel that physical strength used by men requires more stamina than childbirth. Nevertheless, this argument is no longer a complete dispute against soccer.
In closing his essay, Webb seems to refute his previous argument while still maintaining an obnoxious tone. He addresses the idea that soccer is a foreign invasion, yet this time he refers to it as a self inflicted wound. Americans are to blame for their own embracement of soccer. In regards to soccer being an unholy or wrongful sport, Webb debates his former arguments by saying: "Baseball is too intimidating, football is too brutal, and basketball takes too much time to develop the required skills." This statement indirectly makes soccer out to be the perfect sport. In the next sentences, Webb says that soccer allows everyone in the family to play a role and that results in better parenting. Because soccer is a sport that drains energy, it is helpful to overworked parents who lack the energy to play with their children on their own time. In the last paragraph, Webb reveals that he is the parent of three soccer girls which works to build his ethos. Because the readers are now aware that Webb is a soccer dad who has knowledge of the game, it only supports the true purpose of this essay which is to deride claims that soccer is not a worthy sport. He essentially builds up the argument of his opponent with exaggerated claims and then proceeds to knock it all down. Webb's last sentence is the ultimate reveal of his true intention in this satirical essay: "Nonetheless, I must say that my kids and I come home from a soccer game a very happy family." To put it another way, you have just been led to believe the outrageous claim that soccer is ruining America.